The twisted love tale

Dear diary 

Perhaps I'm struck down by love

Magnificently a wonder

Rusting me down deeply without doubt

Like lightning before thunder

Perhaps we are not the best fit

Devastatingly a taboo

Our expectations don't quite congruent 

Like our fate beyond each other's too

Perhaps it's temporary a feeling

Hopefully I wish

A torturous pain soaring in my heart

I'm your pet and you're holding the leash

Perhaps of high emotional sensitivity 

Crazily we text

Sour topics I brace to converse

Like other girls you wish you knew more

- girls whom I thought I was better than before

Perhaps it's just your kindness

Purely platonic a relationship

I fell in love with your gentle attributes

Unbeknownst to me that it will remain un-granted

Perhaps it's just us

Or insanely I pray

That you're bridging across to me

And trying to find my pains

That you will soon some day

Be mine forever and always

Or will it just be my daydream

A happy ending never be

Even the beauty and the beast

Had a better ending than me

 

perhaps.

If I pushed a word out of myself

And it cuts straight through like a dagger

Will you feel the pain of it from me as it pierce through yourself

Or will you fall down and shun the battle

Will you dance with me on the tables

Behaviour of sober drunkards

To the music beating loudly absent from fables

For hours continuously till the rise of suns

Since the time you left perhaps just a minute ago

On my mind you've been all along and it's just thinking nonstop

I've send a text to you for assurance and my insecurities

Just right from the toilet you reply YES DEAR I LL ALWAYS BE HERE

I want us to have a love hate relationship

Where we stab mend love fight

An unsinking and invincible, against all odds out at sea, ship

Just like Katy s top hot and cold beat

Or perhaps guide me down the stairs

In my ever stunning gown and your sleekly worn tux

Cheekily ask me to be your princess

The ever loving couple ruling till the end

Leave behind scabs and scars

Dreams ignite far away

Heroines die every other day

Birds seek warmth in the winter

Lovers feelings still linger

Time heals it all

Even the greatest falls

Leave behind scabs and scars

Tender love required it'll be a dream this far

Threw it away to my ocean a feat

Swept it away the typhoon lifted me off my feet

Tore it apart I forced the pillow case

Unseamed the threads that sewn the heart complete

Why did it return

When I had let it go

How tough it was for me

To carry on the show

All alone in the movie

My antagonist

Missing a role in my life

Your existence made 

someone complete

Humble you are proud are you

I'm having my doubts are you true

I want to see you through and through

This life of mine what I threw

 

 

I opened the window the wind blew

With just a kiss my soul flew

I accepted pleasures that I should never had

But all these too late for regrets

Why cant the world be perfect

Who came up with definitions of greats and facts

I am mighty to myself and I

Loving myself for all time

I opened the window the bird freed

I seek love risking everything from head to feet

If this torture was a physical pain

I d rather tolerate that everyday 

Basking in the light of your sight

Id never leave, i'll struggle with all my might

And show you that i am not that tough

Shall double what you ve put me through

And return it all back to you

strength.

All efforts came to naught

I thought I was strong

Assumption took me the wrong way

I'm now at my breaking point 

Is this right or is this not

My predictions came out wrong

Claims calmed me for a moment

Pain struck with reality at the next 

Impact so great I took

Without cushion my heart fell

A flying butterfly in the open space

With freedom but no love

I want to be a caterpillar 

Hiding in the cocoon

Sheltered and cared for

Waiting to grow into something beautiful

I thought I was really strong

Independence I could declare

No one however knows the limit

Where liquid evaporates and into gas, gone

Probably misunderstandings stood in between

Hungry for the answer

Timid of the truth 

And quiet I shall stay not creating problems

To be or not to be

Set free or keep in within

Should I hold on to these

And of what may or may not be  

I demand the truth

I don't seek cruelty

But I want peace within me

Impossible without those two

 

My little lovely dove

She is mighty she is great

Thankfully we didn't meet too late

Play after classes talk after school

Our attraction makes others drool  

She makes me feel blissful and safe all day

Ignore critics haters will say

Closely we bond affection shown

I will not want to end this show 

Weird I feel, but close and dear

We crave closeness but our losing hearts we have to fear

Epitome of friendship present within

Doubts of lasting continuously kneading 

I love her as a friend

I don't wish for these memories to end

Selfish you ll say and I may agree

If you were I'm my shoes, the reason, will you see? 

I want you to be happy

I want you to be free

But for you to do that

I have to, with myself, disagree 

You have to go 

Go back to where you belong

Belonging back to someone else

And someone else but me no more

I hope that you can see

Here forever I ll always stay and be

Regardless of rain or shine, a dime or lime 

I will be here for you promise me not to cry

I want you to be happy I want to set you free

I tear my heart pieces as I watch you leave

Our boats distancing in the vast ocean

Revealing your genuine smile with my heart 

Sincerely wish you best in motion

Holding hands with her till the horizon parts

Go little bird out the cage you fly

This will always be home and I will never say bye

Seek the freedom you crave and quell the hunger for love

Please grow to be a wonderful dove 

My little flower

It all started with a sad tempo

I was crying all solo

You arrived with a magical heart

Then I never wanted to part

Disastrous, it was hell for me

Your arrival made the picture ever pretty

A resounding heart beat of love

Touches gentler than the lovliest doves

I bid my horrendous past farewell

Hoping for them to pass, they shall

My savior however was struggling

With the problems still stinging

Lost I was couldn't find my way

Stopped, I thought, I didn't want to sway

Sinking my heart at helpless self

Starred but could do nothing of help

Cries sobs and hiccups

Fragmented, I want to pick myself up

Titanium I shall be tough

The waves no matter however rough

Forced pearls out of my eyes

Didn't want to be stained and dyed

Pure I ignited my ways

Flame so bright to light up your days

Comfort I will try

Promises to succeed wouldn't defy 

Braver you will be

Less tears you shed little baby

Succeeded, I hope, repeatedly

Made you feel better and not deadly

Gaining height you grow slowly

Not so fast but sure was it steady

It all started with a slow tempo

I was no longer crying solo

You arrived at the right time

'Saving hearts in the nick of time'

Just for her.

Gratitude fills my sorrowful heart

With ease you gracefully took away the pain 

When tough times past and trouble persists 

You were always right there till the end

But that ease I got came with a price

Now a heavier heart I hold

Deeper roots grown down in to seek water

More trouble seem to show

What I assumed was right for me

Didn't turned out as well planned

My friend I cry for you every night

My my dreams my la la land

My bed ever so comfy

Now has your worrying pain

Forever stuck onto me I want my wall re paint 

My pains seem to recover 

Now worse than ever

Anti biotics didnt remove the viruses

But aided in the campaign

Cautious of my words and diction

Wouldn't want a neglected friend

I hope all these are fiction

And would come to an end

I want you to be happy

But here I am over you sad

What will happen when you are gone

You seeking happiness in that garden

A maze I'm too timid to try

A dare too dangerous to attempt

A dreamer am I too small

That event seem out of reach

Hoping for you to be happy

Please don't worry too much

Everything is meant to be

Just take it the way it is

Insecurities may cover me up

But I will stand strong

Take them as a winter coat to wear them in the ever snowing cold

I show no fear of losing 

But here I am hiding the pain

Just hoping one day for you to be released

All my sacrifices not in vain

I love you so much deeply

I wish I could let go

All those memories not so long ago

Comes down in a flow

My best event of the year

I wouldn't it to be the worst

It is meant to be for us to meet

Don't let fear cover your ears

You may be blind here in the dark

And groped about in the pitch

Carelessly fell into my ever warming love

And meekly after you recover

You're out of reach

I want you to be happy 

I want your happy soul free

Free of sorrows and worries

Just leave them all for me

I may not be the best just yet

Perhaps I didn't let it show

Don't take me for granted

Coz when the wind blows there goes the glow

Ignited spark within 

I passed this torch to you

The burning touch of love 

A complete hug to make it whole

I shiver in grueling winter in your absent days

Couldn't ask more from you

You're devoted and gave it all away

With that

Gratitude fills my hopeful soul

With pain I hoped you're now at ease

Through tough times and pleasures please

I will always be here till the end

Even at the break of dawn

I ll be waiting at your door 

Always your humble servant withdrawn

Love you deep down to the core 

A rose of lie.

Devotion, care and love

I hung on so tightly for

Prized possession now extinct 

As pure and white as doves

Disgusting and revolting as gore

From emotions mixed in a tin

Out a rose I saw 

Evil trapped in crimson

That leaf was never green 

Clouds no longer white

Darkness has risen

Fear puréed

Footsteps exceedingly light

The prick of the beau

Advanced towards the bottle

The dark hole in the rose

Colour impossible to differentiate  

Like war zone, after a battle

When booked has closed

And sealed up our fate

The rose started to drape

Across our shoulders unseamed the prick

Along my arms, the other made me complete

Bloody depicts the tragedy

The threads along my eyes were unhemmed

Instantly they were bright wide

Glancing across the bloody bottle

An evil it was to me 

Now I owe it my fateful soul

I finally saw the light

In the middle of the rose

Layers of crimson wrapped it whole

Tissues of justice made it roll

A savior now I see

Brutal truth I beheld

Innocent faces spat with blood

From my polluted soul

 

My heart in the middle

In the middle I stood

Amidst the hustle and bustle

Deaf and blind my confused mood

Whistling, but where's my loyal Russell? 

Examined every nook and cranny 

Following my heart to the letter

In search for someone caring

Disappointment filling cups after another

Where hast thou been

Fatigue overwhelming

Love, never seen

Yet no one bothering

She went aboard a spaceship 

Traveling around finding rhymes

Witnessing variations of friendships

And salvaging them in the nick of time

Love planted in the ground

Embracing the breeze uprooting trees

At attention she stood strong 

Overcoming throngs of wrongs 

Waving bye to all the goods

Shaking hands forming alliance with bad

A devil through and through

No one could understand why

Courageous she lived

Gracefully she went

Every breath a moment of gratitude 

A grain to bring back a life

One fruit to spur love going

Shooting stars keeping dreams alive

I wrote with all my heart

Wished with all my might

Searching with limited sight

Crying away pains at night

Missed chances fate disperse

Oh one day I wish our hearts ll connect

Sharing days till the sun sets

Sipping lemonade in the sun

Lovely whites glistening in the sun

Our love has just then begun

 

I shouldn't ask for more.

I shouldn't ask for more

There are so many things I should be thankful for

Trust your heart and see the light

Fight through darkest paths with all your might

The wind will blow

Memories may follow

But count my blessings 

At least my salad has dressings

Count my sorrows

I ll show you my future my tomorrow

I will prove myself to be strong

Standing up alone oh so tall

A best friend to you am I? 

Someone last on your list

Taken for granted am I? 

I don't feel my priority 

Explanations absent apologies mistaken

I'm numb to feel you around again 

The warmth that you used to bring froze

The dessert alone cactus stood exceedingly cold

Protrusions that sharp

Far and few in between 

Lonely plant simply out of reach

Wishing that it has company

Company means the lost of life

Two cacti competing for water

Like lovebirds hanging onto a cliff

With that I end my poem

Leave the loose strands there

May the wind blow them hard

To change what I really meant 

If love could live another day.

One 

Petals fall

Fates deceit

The rose's layers comes falling down

Onto the endless ground

Stained with tears and mixed with blood 

Someone wished she was never found

Two

Love escaped

People screamed

The dream of normality seemed out of reach 

Dead virtually she thought

As love scraped away memories

Three

Fearless she stood 

Emotionless she glared

The world love was brought into turned into a mess

Trauma she went through

Tough she fought

All attempts brought to nought

Four

The sea drowned her face

The mask of tears could never be erased

How those scars were drawn

Words cut down deep like blades

Into the core of what we call soul

With the wind love was taken away

Five

Locks scattered

Crimson streamed

Oh how much she wished she was received

Critics came in more than friends

The toll that took came to this end

Six

She wandered gently away 

Into the dark ventured love

Gingerly traveling to someone's heart

Hoping for something to change

After her body was left to decay

Seven

Sorrows, regrets came flowing in

Love, a life taken by herself

Perhaps I ll say otherwise

People live, according to how they're found

Love peacefully left

All the negatives remained unsaid

Eight

Life is given by the mighty

For us all to be bright

Giving love to everyone 

And not just to that one, standing out

Nine

Quietly her decays in a wooden box

Cremated, respected what she longed for was now found

How could she have received it when she moved on

A soulless jar left on the shelf

With her name, love, left quietly there by itself 

Ten

Rumors spread like wildfire

The wind aided the chaos

'To everyone who loved me specially 

Who allowed me such pain 

I'd like to thank you gratefully

For the relief I have today. Love'

  

Best friends(:

Give me a little less of you

I ll cry till we find something new 

Recognising us as old friends

Best pals always till the end

Time crawls as earth orbits 

All these love I cast them into beads

Onto this friendship I pour 

My heart and soul at your door

Closer we grow

More fondness we show

With each and every passing day

A new message we convey

My pillar of support at my toughest 

An outlet when I'm at my saddest

The price for this ship is undefined

All these memories impossible to undermine 

Ps: this poem is dedicated to all my dear close and best friends out there! Best wishes(: and love you guys :*

Friends?

My doubt

My friends

Is this really the end?

Walking down this journey thus long

Will everything just be gone?

These trusts

My faiths

They crumble down like houses of cards

Hurricanes swept my properties around

And threw them out of bounds 

Betrayal, murmurs circulate

I predicted, was it my mistake?

Ignoring advices, heeding misleads

Oh what such deeds, my friends 

Such disgraces disdains

Time crawled distance leaped

I wish now my life was complete 

Those memories now out of reach

Redeeming myself at the beach

Seeing the fleets out at the sea

Horizons vary so do friendships

My old friend now where is she

Lost in the dark wandering around 

A soul which left it's body will never be found

Old friend my friend

Where are you

The old self is missing

I don't want anything new

I'm drowning in confusion 

My own past mistake

Was it my fault 

That let you to have gained?